I have a love/hate relationship with Costco. You see, there are certain items that are great to purchase at Costco: electronics, protein powder, or a huge sofa that only Shaq could use. When someone sees you carrying out an 80-inch flat screen TV (I saw one today) no one snickers, no one gawks, and no one questions you as a person. (Drum roll) . . . enter toilet paper. Bigger is not always better.
I feel so embarrassed when I buy toilet paper in general, let alone at Costco. You see, with every item purchased at any store, those at the check-out (and those standing around you) know what you are going to be doing with it. “Oh look honey, that guy is buying a TV, blu-ray player, and salsa; I bet he is going to throw a sweet party.” “Oh look honey, that lady bought three classic works of literature and Mozart’s complete collection; I bet she is very intelligent and is getting ready for a book club.” “Oh look honey, that boy just bought toilet paper…. (enough said).
It just feels so invasive that a private matter between a person and, well, themselves is now on display for everyone to see. There is a reason it happens behind closed doors, and we should keep it that way. From this day forward, I am going to buy my TP online and have it shipped to me in a discrete box that says FRAGILE (Italian for expensive).
It is bad enough that we have to buy 4-6 rolls of toilet paper when needed at our local convenience store, but at Costco they just can’t do anything small. Nope. They sell you 700 yards of the stuff. That’s not only enough to TP someone’s whole house, but you could probably build them a house out of the leftovers. Anytime I see a human buying that much private paper, I think of horrible moments in my life, and then I judge them.
Well my friends, it was me who was being judged tonight. It was me. But I guess I should look on the bright side: I won’t have to go back to the store for that item til 2013. . . Except, I have a wife. . . So, it will probably be next week.
December 31, 2011 3 Comments
the other night spencer and i made the best dinner we’ve ever had. ever.
spencer made the chicken and mashed the potatoes with one of those hand immersion blenders. mostly it was because my beaters are still in a box somewhere, but they were amazingly creamy nonetheless.
and i made this amazing mushroom cream sauce. guys, i don’t even like mushrooms, and it was my favorite dinner of all time!
oh, also, as you can see, we ate dinner off of a big blue storage tub. (we are planning on returning our kitchen table, which means it is leaning up against the wall in the living room, half-assembled, waiting to be disassembled, put back in the box, and returned to ikea).
besides having a storage tub for a kitchen table, we are also using the floor as a tv stand, and we have 3 different comforters on our bed (one of them is a sleeping bag). totally normal, right?
so tell me, what funny things did you do as a newlywed? mostly, i just want to feel validated. and entertained.
December 13, 2011 6 Comments
my work, wilson diamonds, is putting on an amazing light show. if you are in the provo area (or anywhere close) you should come check it out! it would make for a great family or date night.
here is the poster i designed with all the details!
December 8, 2011 No Comments
i was always under the impression that being married would be just like dating (with a few perks, obviously). but i was wrong! we have been married for 8 weeks (today!), so i am basically an expert on all things marriage. having reached this expert status, i felt it was only natural that i compile a list of 10 things people fail to mention about being married.
1. it is way better than dating/being engaged. and i mean way better. having someone to keep you warm at night (that isn’t your little sister)? it’s the best.
2. it is possible to live with someone and see them less than when you lived in different cities. it’s an interesting phenomenon.
3. it is impossible to fit 4 boxes full of kitchen items into 5 kitchen cabinets.
4. it will take a lot longer than you think to have a living room free from boxes that are yet to be unpacked (see number 3).
5. thank you cards do not write themselves (don’t remind me!).
6. your husband may possibly sit you down and tell you that he is concerned with how quickly you go through a roll of toilet paper. (i have a really small bladder guys!)
7. finding a secret place for your candy stash is not easy when your husband becomes your roommate. in fact, your husband may hear the rattling of mike and ikes in your backpack and shake his head at you.
8. sleeping 8 hours a night may possibly be the second best thing about married life.
9. husbands do nice things for you all the time if you just ask. have you ever needed to get something out of the car, but it is really cold outside and you just do not want to leave your warm house? get a husband! they don’t even realize until they’re back in the house with your purse that there was no reason you couldn’t have retrieved it yourself. it’s the best.
10. you may possibly find yourself wishing you had gotten married a whole year sooner. yeah, it’s that good.
photos circa september 2009.
barely recognize that short-haired boy? me neither.
December 7, 2011 6 Comments
you want to know the best thing about having a mom like mine? i haven’t had to go through millions of cookie recipes searching for a winner because she has already perfected them for me. ok, so she probably has more redeeming qualities than that–but having some go-to cookie recipes is never a bad thing.
exhibit a: these snickerdoodles. i think i’ve eaten six of these in one sitting. not that i should be publicly mentioning that fact.
just a tip: be very careful not to overbake your cookies or your life will be over. not really. but the cookies won’t taste half as good. promise.
1 c. butter
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 3/4 c. flour
2 1/2 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
cream butter and sugar together. add eggs. then, mix in dry ingredients. once all ingredients are combined, roll dough into one-inch balls. then roll into cinnamon-sugar mixture. bake at 350° for approximately 12 minutes. watch carefully and remove from the oven as soon as the edges turn the slightest bit golden.
December 1, 2011 1 Comment